Yarrkarping

You know how sometimes you realise something about yourself or your own capabilities, and you think “I didn’t know I could do that!”, and a big smile spawns on your face. Well, that’s how I’ve been feeling for the past week or so, because I didn’t know I could have this much energy, this much pure, unfabricated, wondedrful energy. (And I hardly drink any coffee at all any more.)

As you know, I started eating healthier when I got back from my Christmas holidays, just to try to recover from two weeks of over consumption of all things tasty. I’m not going to tell you it was easy, because cutting away all fast carbohydrates from my diet was hard, not eating any sweeties was hard, and eating smaller portions even though I was really hungry (or my eyes were anyway) was hard. It still is sometimes, but I think I’ve gotten the hang of it. I can still eat all the veg and fruit and meat and cheese and lots of other things I like – I just have to be a bit more innovative when coming up with something to complement them instead of potatoes, rice or pasta. But that’s not impossible at all. This week, for example, I’m craving pizza, and after a little bit of research I found this recipe for grain and gluten free pizza base with cheese and cauliflower!

But anyway, back on track. The point is, I feel absolutely marvellous. I’m energetic, I work out 5 days a week, I am full of life, and I’m really enjoying that feeling. I think it must be a combination of more exercise and a healthy diet. And I do think a heavy decrease in sugars and carbohydrates has a lot to do with it. I’m less bloated, I fart less (tee-hee), and I’m not as hungry or feeling as snacky all the time. I eat one small piece of chocolate every evening with my tea, and that’s it. No more. One small piece is enough.

I’ve also started eating breakfast. I never used to, and that’s still something that I find difficult to do on certain mornings. It’s just some natural yoghurt with nuts and raisins, but it’s much better than nothing, and it ties me over till lunch time. When I wasn’t eating breakfast, I was eating a lot more unhealthy snacks.

The effects of all this are, to me, astonishing. I’m alert and awake, and I want to do things. I’m doing translation assignments after work. I’m feeling creative, I draw and paint more, I follow through with my ideas and I still have time to just chill out and play video games in the evenings.

All this energy is making exercise a pleasure. Or well, I still hate it sometimes when I’m slaving on the treadmill or in the running tracks, but I love to see the change in my body, how I get stronger and leaner and how I can do more each time I come back to the gym. Even exercises that I used to hate with a passion, like the shoulder press, are getting easier and more enjoyable – until the next time it’s time to up the weights, of course. The point is, there’s progress, and it’s tangible, and I love it.

But I do have a goal with all this. Apart from living a long and healthy life, which is the long term aim, I have a few shorter term ones as well. I would like to lose weight. I’ve lost about 8kg so far, and I would like to loose a bit more, to reach the weight I was at when I was younger and more fit. Then I want some muscle definition. I want abs, and a killer back, nice shoulders and strong legs. I don’t want to be skinny, I want to be strong, and I want it to show.

You'll have to excuse the poor quality of the scan.

I was on the treadmill today, running running running while listening to “Breathe” by Pink Floyd.

Run, rabbit run
Dig that hole, forget the sun
And when at last the work is done
Don’t sit down
It’s time to dig another one

For long you live and high you fly
But only if you ride the tide
And balanced on the biggest wave
You race towards an early grave

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Once again I decided that it’s a good idea to do a bit of exercise, not just because my trousers are feeling a wee bit tight, but also because it makes me feel much better about myself – once I get past the stage of perpetually sore muscles that is. To illustrate: I went to a Body Step class on Thursday and I walked, or waddled, like a duck for the next 2 and a half days because I simply couldn’t straighten my legs without going “Ow ow ow ooooow!” and then sitting down again.

It wasn’t until I went to a Body Combat class on Sunday evening that I felt like I could walk like a normal person again, in exchange for now aching equally in every single muscle I have. No discrimination there, no no! But at least my posture is good now, anything else would hurt like hell.

To the point though; Body Combat was the most fun I’ve ever had in a gym. It was such a release of energy and frustration and pent up anger that I felt almost giggly once I got home. And instead of being totally exhausted after my shower, I felt like I had all the energy in the world. I was practically bouncing round the flat. And because of that I’m going to come back to that class again and again and again, and I want to work hard in the gym during the rest of the week as well to get better at punching and kicking the air like it’s never been punched or kicked before.

It was a long time since I felt like that. And that’s why this isn’t a New Year’s resolution, or a February resolution or an anything resolution. Because if you have to make a resolution in order to be able do something, it’s because you feel you have to do it, not because you want to. At least it’s like that with me. I’ve never made a resolution to do something I actually want to do, and think I would enjoy – resolutions are reserved for the kind of things I know I should do but avoid like the plague any other time of the year. For some things, like quitting smoking, it probably makes a lot of sense to make a resolution, but when it comes to exercise and to me in particular, I have to get that feeling – that feeling I got yesterday when I was beating up the air for all I was worth, sweat running down my back, legs like jelly and music pounding from the speakers. I felt absolutely brilliant.

I want to go back. I want to work harder. I want the same feeling next time – except better.

To sum up: Guilt and too small trousers made me start exercising again, Combat is what’s going to keep me coming back.